WWE Summerslam 2012 Review
In fairness, WWE’s roster wasn’t the best back in 2012 . What would be solid mid-carders in 2019(or more likely, nowhere to be seen) were elevated to lofty positions as the company struggled to create any stars to sit alongside John Cena and CM Punk.
Summerslam is one of the big four, the biggest party/event/whatever else they want to call it this year, of the summer, so let's look and see if WWE was able to punch above its weight seven years ago.
The event was held at the Staples Centre in Los Angeles and 17,482 fans turned out for what they hoped would be an evening of thrilling action.
Summerslam is one of the big four, the biggest party/event/whatever else they want to call it this year, of the summer, so let's look and see if WWE was able to punch above its weight seven years ago.
The event was held at the Staples Centre in Los Angeles and 17,482 fans turned out for what they hoped would be an evening of thrilling action.
Chris Jericho Vs. Dolph Ziggler
Two very capable hands opened up the show.But first, it's Vickie time. Vickie Guerrero was managing Ziggler at the time and she interrupts Michael Cole and Jerry the King Lawler's run down of the show with an ear bleeding"Excccccuuuuusseee Meeeeeee". The crown go bezerk at this, and booing erupts around the arena as Vickie does what she does best - shrieking.
She's certainly made the most of her "gift" of an extraordinarily loud and shrill voice, and always got major heat.
Although a cynic might say the reaction may have been "enhanced" during the network's editing process, but Vickie was always very good at what she did.
The story was that Dolf had injured Jericho's ribs in the run-up to this match and insisting Jericho "can't win the big one".
Jericho, of course, was the guy who beat Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock in the same night, but apparently he's got to raise his game for a curtain jerker against Dolph Ziggler, but I digress. This was Ziggler during his most annoying phase, bright blonde hair, super-show off obnoxious heel. Jericho clearly knew this, landing a brutal elbow right on Dolph's not-inconsiderable jaw, in the opening seconds.
There's a brilliant top rope hurricanrunna from Jericho, before Jericho kicks out of the Zig Zag. Dolph eventually gets caught in the Walls of Jericho - the Lion Tamer version which looks badass - and taps out, "finally" winning the big one.
Thoughts: This was a good solid opener between two very capable performers.
We go backstage with Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar, who tell Lesnar's main event opponent HHH he can't win against The Beast. I note that Brock Lesnar has never looked any different in his whole WWE career, aside from some beastly looking tats.
She's certainly made the most of her "gift" of an extraordinarily loud and shrill voice, and always got major heat.
Although a cynic might say the reaction may have been "enhanced" during the network's editing process, but Vickie was always very good at what she did.
The story was that Dolf had injured Jericho's ribs in the run-up to this match and insisting Jericho "can't win the big one".
Jericho, of course, was the guy who beat Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock in the same night, but apparently he's got to raise his game for a curtain jerker against Dolph Ziggler, but I digress. This was Ziggler during his most annoying phase, bright blonde hair, super-show off obnoxious heel. Jericho clearly knew this, landing a brutal elbow right on Dolph's not-inconsiderable jaw, in the opening seconds.
There's a brilliant top rope hurricanrunna from Jericho, before Jericho kicks out of the Zig Zag. Dolph eventually gets caught in the Walls of Jericho - the Lion Tamer version which looks badass - and taps out, "finally" winning the big one.
Thoughts: This was a good solid opener between two very capable performers.
We go backstage with Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar, who tell Lesnar's main event opponent HHH he can't win against The Beast. I note that Brock Lesnar has never looked any different in his whole WWE career, aside from some beastly looking tats.
Kane Vs. Daniel Bryan
This is a weird one, as Bryan is his shaven-headed hysterical heel who repeatedly yells "NOOOOO" phase. Kane was in his, rather odd, metal mask and "mask that looks like a piece of raw meat" phase.
This was a year before the "Team Hell No" was formed. This is a fairly standard big man/little man match. Kane beats up Bryan for a bit, but Bryan gets back in and tries and fails to put the No Lock on, but can't. There's a nice spot where Kane explodes at ref Charles Robinson who tells him he might be disqualified if he keeps breaking all the rules . There's a big chokeslam, but then when Kane is going to finish it with the Tombstone, Bryan rolls him up for the three count. This match is OK, nothing too spectacular. The pair have decent chemistry. The highlight of this section is Kane's reaction. The Big Red Monster goes seven shades of crazy backstage afterwards. This includes him picking up Josh Matthews and launching him several feet off screen, to the sound of crashing metal pipes, that always seem to be just lying around backstage at WWE events.
This was a year before the "Team Hell No" was formed. This is a fairly standard big man/little man match. Kane beats up Bryan for a bit, but Bryan gets back in and tries and fails to put the No Lock on, but can't. There's a nice spot where Kane explodes at ref Charles Robinson who tells him he might be disqualified if he keeps breaking all the rules . There's a big chokeslam, but then when Kane is going to finish it with the Tombstone, Bryan rolls him up for the three count. This match is OK, nothing too spectacular. The pair have decent chemistry. The highlight of this section is Kane's reaction. The Big Red Monster goes seven shades of crazy backstage afterwards. This includes him picking up Josh Matthews and launching him several feet off screen, to the sound of crashing metal pipes, that always seem to be just lying around backstage at WWE events.
The Miz (C) Vs. Rey Mysterio (WWE Intercontinental Championship)
First, Rey is dressed as Batman. This is good. This is an unremarkable match. If it was 2019, you'd trust these two for a banger. But in 2012, Miz wasn't what he is now and Rey had been injured for a year.
The problem with this match is not much happens, there's a bit of back and forth before Miz chucks Rey into the turnbuckle, hits the Skull Crushing Finale and wins.
Next.
This is followed by a backstage segment involving CM Punk and AJ Lee, now, of course, husband and wife. This is bad.
The premise is CM Punk is complaining to AJ, then general manager, about his match changing. She, being a KERAZY woman, just smiles manically and stares into space.
A grim reminder how they used to book women, only a few years ago (it's still not great now)
The problem with this match is not much happens, there's a bit of back and forth before Miz chucks Rey into the turnbuckle, hits the Skull Crushing Finale and wins.
Next.
This is followed by a backstage segment involving CM Punk and AJ Lee, now, of course, husband and wife. This is bad.
The premise is CM Punk is complaining to AJ, then general manager, about his match changing. She, being a KERAZY woman, just smiles manically and stares into space.
A grim reminder how they used to book women, only a few years ago (it's still not great now)
Sheamus (C) Vs. Alberto Del Rio (World Heavyweight Championship)
Remember when Sheamus was champ? And booked to look like a complete mug all the time? Well, this is another one. This match comes after those skits on Tout where Sheamus went joyriding in Del Rio's various expensive cars.
An underwhelming champion vs an underwhelming challenger.
Could this match over perform? No. No it couldn't. This was dull. Dull.
I watched this pay per view two days ago, and can't remember anything about this match. Oh,wait, it had a really stupid finish that made Sheamus look like a nob.
Sheamus pins Del Rio, but Del Rio puts his foot on the rope. The ref doesn't see it, and gives the mighty champion a dominant win, that definitely doesn't make him look like a complete berk. Like the rest of his run.
Before the tag title match, we go backstage to see HHH talking to the ref in his match. The man of many nicknames is urging the ref to let the two of them fight, to not disqualify them. Obviously, making it a No DQ match didn't occur to any of the great brains in the writing team. Instead, they decided it would be better to have HHH begging the ref not to adhere to the rules. Stupid.
An underwhelming champion vs an underwhelming challenger.
Could this match over perform? No. No it couldn't. This was dull. Dull.
I watched this pay per view two days ago, and can't remember anything about this match. Oh,wait, it had a really stupid finish that made Sheamus look like a nob.
Sheamus pins Del Rio, but Del Rio puts his foot on the rope. The ref doesn't see it, and gives the mighty champion a dominant win, that definitely doesn't make him look like a complete berk. Like the rest of his run.
Before the tag title match, we go backstage to see HHH talking to the ref in his match. The man of many nicknames is urging the ref to let the two of them fight, to not disqualify them. Obviously, making it a No DQ match didn't occur to any of the great brains in the writing team. Instead, they decided it would be better to have HHH begging the ref not to adhere to the rules. Stupid.
Kofi Kingston & R-Truth (C) Vs. The Prime Time Players (WWE Tag Team Championships)
Did they really have no-one better for a title match than Darren Young and Titus O'Neill? Really? Positives are being reminded of Kofi's awesome, pre-New Day music and some good fast-paced action.
But again, it's dull. The Prime Time Players never ever lived up to their name.
Young goes for a roll up, Truth kicks out, Truth hits some sort of finisher. Ends.
Formulaic. We're way in to this PPV now and there has only been one half decent match
But again, it's dull. The Prime Time Players never ever lived up to their name.
Young goes for a roll up, Truth kicks out, Truth hits some sort of finisher. Ends.
Formulaic. We're way in to this PPV now and there has only been one half decent match
CM Punk (C) Vs. John Cena Vs. The Big Show (WWE Championship)
Next up, it's one of the many CM Punk title fights that didn't go on last. He's the champ, and he's taking on Big Show and John Cena in a triple threat. Big Show does some massive chops, and impressively suplexes both his opponents at the same time
It goes backwards and forwards in classic triple threat style.
Eventually, Punk has Show in his anaconda vice submission, then Cena locks on his STF. Big Show taps out? BUT WHO'S WON?
Much confusion ensues, but then, AJ's music starts up and she does that weird skip down to the ring, (because she's unstable right?) and she decided to restart the match. Punk and Cena walk into a double chokeslam, but Cena, being indestructable, kicks out. It's time for Big Show's Big Punch, but Cena hits him with an AA. But then Punk, sneaky devil that he is, throws Cena out and gets the three count himself. This was a good match, Punk and Cena can always raise the roof and Big Show did his thing well (check out the sweat he gets on). Classic Triple Threat finish with Punk in great "hard done by twat" mode.
Oh, by the way, this is the Summerslam where Fred Durst out of Limp Bizkit got thrown out for flipping the bird. ROCK.
Also, the camera picks out Piers Morgan, probably the most natural heel on show all evening.
Then we get Kevin Rudolf singing the "official" Summerslam song. Various Divas come out and dance. The Funkadactyls, Layla, Kelly Kelly, Kaitlin (who really looks awkward) and the rest are all out there.
This is how they used to use Divas. Rubbish. They all look like they'd rather be somewhere other than strutting their stuff to some bog standard pop rock.
In fact, this song is very much like the PPV: Bland.
It goes backwards and forwards in classic triple threat style.
Eventually, Punk has Show in his anaconda vice submission, then Cena locks on his STF. Big Show taps out? BUT WHO'S WON?
Much confusion ensues, but then, AJ's music starts up and she does that weird skip down to the ring, (because she's unstable right?) and she decided to restart the match. Punk and Cena walk into a double chokeslam, but Cena, being indestructable, kicks out. It's time for Big Show's Big Punch, but Cena hits him with an AA. But then Punk, sneaky devil that he is, throws Cena out and gets the three count himself. This was a good match, Punk and Cena can always raise the roof and Big Show did his thing well (check out the sweat he gets on). Classic Triple Threat finish with Punk in great "hard done by twat" mode.
Oh, by the way, this is the Summerslam where Fred Durst out of Limp Bizkit got thrown out for flipping the bird. ROCK.
Also, the camera picks out Piers Morgan, probably the most natural heel on show all evening.
Then we get Kevin Rudolf singing the "official" Summerslam song. Various Divas come out and dance. The Funkadactyls, Layla, Kelly Kelly, Kaitlin (who really looks awkward) and the rest are all out there.
This is how they used to use Divas. Rubbish. They all look like they'd rather be somewhere other than strutting their stuff to some bog standard pop rock.
In fact, this song is very much like the PPV: Bland.
Brock Lesnar Vs. Triple H
Main event time, and, if you hadn't heard 537 times already, this is going to be a FIGHT. HHH is the good guy in this against heel Lesnar and his evil manager Paul Heyman. HHH is very much in the Ziggler mode of "always much better as a heel" so let's see how this one goes. The back story is that Lesnar "broke" HHH's arm with his badass Kimura lock months back and had done the same thing to poor old Shawn Michaels on the go home Raw. And we're getting the same "Brock doesn't care, Brock turns up when he feels like it" stuff we get seven years later. HHH, still with long, greasy hair, at this stage, gets a big pop as he arrives.
Lesnar, as wrestlers are want to do, targets the arm. The twist is, Brock has a a weak spot. An Achilles heel. He's got dodgy gut. And Hunter goes for it. They do that spot that happens in every single main event where one goes for the finisher and gets reversed and then other goes for THEIR finisher and that gets reversed . Michael Cole, clad in a ghastly shirt and tie combo, always falls for this. Brock goes the colour of a beetroot around 11 seconds in but HHH knocks him out of the ring a few times and seems to be on top. Lesnar throws off his UFC gloves,and the two brawl at ringside. As most HHH matches are, this is not a fast-paced encounter.
There's a nice spot where Brock tips over the table and then stands on the side and jumps off. He's a freak of nature, there's no doubt about it. There's a pedigree, Lesnar kicks out. The big man was allowed to kick out of one of the most protected moves around, that tells you something.
Heyman goes ballistic at ringside, doing his best Vickie Guerrero. Then Lesnar hits an F5 - The Game kicks out. Remember when finishers used to end matches? Aaah precious memories. Kimura lock again, Lesnar gets it locked in. HHH gets to the ropes! But he told the ref not to apply the rules. He manages to fight off the actual big red monster and hits another Pedigree.
Got to be over? No, Lesnar locks in the Kimura as HHH goes for the pin.
One final yank to "break" the arm, and HHH taps out. This was a good match.
I'd have liked a bit more intensity in the early brawling. Apparently, two men who can't stand each other happily stood and waited for the announcements to be made before starting the match. I hate this.
It was a good finish, it made Brock look like a monster. Lesnar leaves, more sweat than man. HHH remains in the ring, unable to move. This was clearly a tease of a beaten man, the end, The Game's Last Match.
HA. YEAH RIGHT.
Overall Thoughts: Summerslam 2012 is largely unremarkable.
The opener was good, the tag match was dull, the intercontinental match was dull, despite having Rey in it, Seamus v Del Rio was dull, Bryan v Kane was dull (apart from the chucking of Matthews afterwards) the triple threat was good, apart from the portrayal of AJ as a madwoman, the song was AWFUL, and the main event was a good slugfest. But this is a big four PPV, it should be better than "alright" and that's all it was.
Rating: 6/10
Lesnar, as wrestlers are want to do, targets the arm. The twist is, Brock has a a weak spot. An Achilles heel. He's got dodgy gut. And Hunter goes for it. They do that spot that happens in every single main event where one goes for the finisher and gets reversed and then other goes for THEIR finisher and that gets reversed . Michael Cole, clad in a ghastly shirt and tie combo, always falls for this. Brock goes the colour of a beetroot around 11 seconds in but HHH knocks him out of the ring a few times and seems to be on top. Lesnar throws off his UFC gloves,and the two brawl at ringside. As most HHH matches are, this is not a fast-paced encounter.
There's a nice spot where Brock tips over the table and then stands on the side and jumps off. He's a freak of nature, there's no doubt about it. There's a pedigree, Lesnar kicks out. The big man was allowed to kick out of one of the most protected moves around, that tells you something.
Heyman goes ballistic at ringside, doing his best Vickie Guerrero. Then Lesnar hits an F5 - The Game kicks out. Remember when finishers used to end matches? Aaah precious memories. Kimura lock again, Lesnar gets it locked in. HHH gets to the ropes! But he told the ref not to apply the rules. He manages to fight off the actual big red monster and hits another Pedigree.
Got to be over? No, Lesnar locks in the Kimura as HHH goes for the pin.
One final yank to "break" the arm, and HHH taps out. This was a good match.
I'd have liked a bit more intensity in the early brawling. Apparently, two men who can't stand each other happily stood and waited for the announcements to be made before starting the match. I hate this.
It was a good finish, it made Brock look like a monster. Lesnar leaves, more sweat than man. HHH remains in the ring, unable to move. This was clearly a tease of a beaten man, the end, The Game's Last Match.
HA. YEAH RIGHT.
Overall Thoughts: Summerslam 2012 is largely unremarkable.
The opener was good, the tag match was dull, the intercontinental match was dull, despite having Rey in it, Seamus v Del Rio was dull, Bryan v Kane was dull (apart from the chucking of Matthews afterwards) the triple threat was good, apart from the portrayal of AJ as a madwoman, the song was AWFUL, and the main event was a good slugfest. But this is a big four PPV, it should be better than "alright" and that's all it was.
Rating: 6/10
